Michelle Obama and Mary J. Blige recently had a conversation about women, relationships, and the desire to be “chosen” by a man. Their solution? Choose yourself. And THAT is where we have a problem.
There is absolutely a difference between a woman losing herself in pursuit of a relationship and a woman having a healthy understanding of her own value. But modern feminism has increasingly replaced unhealthy dependence with something equally destructive: self-centeredness.
“I’m doing me.” “I’m choosing myself." “I come first.”
Okay…but how exactly do you build a marriage, raise children, create a family, or sacrificially love another human being when YOU are permanently sitting on the throne?
In this episode of Unshakable, I react to Michelle Obama and Mary J. Blige’s conversation and explain why the biblical answer isn’t losing yourself OR worshiping yourself.
It is seeing yourself rightly.
Genesis 2:18–24 reminds us that God designed man and woman for covenant relationship. Philippians 2:3–4 calls believers away from selfish ambition. Romans 12:3 warns us not to think of ourselves more highly than we ought. And 2 Timothy 3 warns that one characteristic of a collapsing culture is that people become “lovers of self.”
There is nothing wrong with wanting marriage.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be chosen.
There is nothing wrong with becoming a healthier, wiser, more mature woman.
The problem begins when “self-care” becomes self-worship.
Let’s talk about it.
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